Scene 7: In Kipling's Shop (Bates bursts in) Bates: -You have to see this. Kipling: -What is it old woman, oh its you bates. Bates: -It's a new shop. Kipling: -What? Bates: -Its better than yours. Kipling: - ah, but does it sell turnips? Bates: -Yup. Kipling: - Onions? Bates: - Yup. Kipling: -Weeril infested biscuits covered in filth? Bates: - Err, no Kipling: - Then I have nothing to fear, business is booming! (3 Days Later) Kipling: - My business is bankrupt! Bates: - Don't worry. Kipling: - Why is he so popular? Bates: - Its his cosmetic selection, lets go see. (Other Shop) Manager: - Hi, I'm Al.k Traz, owner of Al. K. Traz's Island. Kipling: - Why is your cosmetic range so popular? Manager: - Because unlike yours it isn't polyfiller. Bates: - Wait a minute, yo were selling... Kipling: - Err, what's that. Manager: - My most popular product, a new hair spray for moustaches developed by top Australian Cricketer Merv Hughes. Bates: - Moustache care, I must get Mum some,... I've said to much. Kipling: - What's it called? Manager: - Merv gas. Kipling: - You what? Manager: -Yes, I distribute throughout the world, especially America. Kipling: - We should leave. Manager: - Watch out for the paddling pool. (No response by Kipling followed by splash) Bates: - I've got to ring my mum and tell her about this (Followed by splash) Scene 2 - The Pentagon USA FBI Guy: - We intercepted a disturbing phone call, Bill, Biiilll, oh BILL Bill: - What? Where? Oh the phone call Genera: - What did you hear Bill: - Spiders General: - I said HEAR not Fear. Bill: - Oh well a guy called Bates phoned someone and said there was a large amount of Nerve gas on Alcatraz Island about to be fired at us. General: - You're sure? Bill: - No thanks I've eaten already. General: - What the hell are you ... FBI Guy: - Forget it, he is the best CIA communication guy. We need to stop this gas, We need the Actor Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery ... (Nicholas Cage House) Cage: - Sounds like a film I did before. FBI Guy: - Will you do it? Cage: - Yeah. FBI guy: - Sean Connery will meet you on the Plane to whale street, seems they moved Alcatraz. (Whale Street at Night in a helicopter) Connery: - So we drop in the water , swim ashore, I kill things 007 style you defuse the gas. Cage: - Okay, lets do it. (Jumps out of helicopter 4 feet above ground into pool) Connery: - What the hell, this isn't the real Alcatraz. Cage: -Where's the other helicopter with the Army? (Alcatraz U.S.A) Special Forces Guy: - Okay lets go, kill anything and everything that moves! hut hut hut. (Back in whale street) Connery: - Lets check this place out. Cage: - I hear is got used so many times everything is mutated. Connery: - Look out! (Huge Joe Pesci walks past towards Galloway) Galloway: - Hay you were funny in Lethal Weapon 3 Pesci: - Funny? FUNNY! Galloway: - Yeah you're a real funny guy. Pesci: - Funny you !!!œ"%$^&*(() (Begins to fight as Godzilla watches in awe) Connery: - We should leave. Cage: - Wait Al K Traz Island, that must be it. (At Shop) Kipling: - Come on Bates, we've nearly broken in, Bates? Bates! (Shadow of man in dress and wig appears behind Kipling raising knife. Cage: - Hay you, you the manager? Kipling: - Err yes. (Connery shoots him and bates. Cage: - Okay lets go in. (Blows door and shoots two shop dummies) (Inside shop A-Team drive through wooden door chased by Mutant sausage) Connery: - What the ... (Radio Calls) Cage: - Err go ahead base. Base: - We have been Authorized to nuke the area if you can't find the nerve gas in ten minutes. Cage: - Who is this? Base: - It was't certainly Captain Sheridan and I am definitely have authorization on its way. (From background "Captain Sheridan, that note from your Mum just came") Sheridan: - Damn it Garibaldi, I told you not to disturb me when I'm trying to nuke things, Don't nuke this my psychiatrist said, try Gardening and don't kill, how can I enjoy myself. Garibaldi: - Radio is still on. Sheridan: - Son of a ... Connery: - Look over there. Cage: - What the Connery: - Merv Gas? Merv bloody gas, MERV GAS!! Cage: - Look up stairs a missile maybe it's real after all. (Cage runs up stairs and sees Manager stood in front of missile) Cage: - Hey hello there, do you like Elton John song "Rocket Man". Manager: - Yeah, why? Cage: - Because its you, you're the rocket man. (Presses launch button and burning paper falls out of rocket.) Cage: - What the ... Manager: - Its one of Galloway's rockets. Cage: - Whatever. (Pushes him out of window) Connery: - Come on the helicopters here. (The two escape as Sheridan nukes Whale Street (again). Back in real Alcatraz) Special Forces: - Where's the rest of the team? Other Guy: - You said shoot anything that moves. (Shoots him then himself) THE END So that was the spectacular all star
whale street movie by me General E. Good NOT SICKO with his motorized wig
that spins.
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