I was alphabetically organising my cans of soup when I thought of a brilliant business idea which will revolutionise naval warfare. Whales, I thought shouldn't just be killed, ground up and made into soup. We can put great big flat-top pieces of concrete on them and a couple of missiles, guns, radar machines and a few harrier jump-jets and hey presto! You're own wale aircraft carrier. We could train the Whales, breed them into efficient military tools of war. The Whales also have useful attributes such as their fins to smack enemies and that big nostril type thing on their heads, missiles could be shot out of them and planes blown up over the city. They can also jump over big walls (such as in 'Free Willy'). They're also cute so they shouldn't bear killing them. Who is the real sick person in this society? Is it the man who wants to use whales as aircraft carriers or is it the BUSINESS MAN in his SUIT & TIE paying good money for his children's public education. That is my idea send your comments, questions and threats on my sick non-environmentally friendly ideas on this internet e-mail address thing - business_man@usa.net Or write to me at : St Marries Psychiatric Hospital Isle of Man, Cell 341 < HR WIDTH=50%>
AND TO RESPOND TO THIS MONTHS'S REPORT:
I was listening to my favourite tape of the Nuremberg rally when I was asked to give my opinion as a leading Nazi, erm, I mean military genius on this idea. The prospect of using whales as aircraft carriers is above ridiculous, a concrete flight deck must weigh many tons, the poor thing would sink. And where do you put the aircraft? In the REAL WORLD they are kept below decks and moved by lifts. Where does the pilot sleep? And also, it can't jump over walls like in Free Willy because the enemy use guided missiles not bricks!! And what do you mean it is too cute to kill, we could just learn from the Japanese and Norwegians. This whole idea would sink as fast as a whale encased in concrete with a 20 ton harrier on it's back, how does it breath if its hole is covered with concrete and full of missiles. To the sick individual who originated this idea, I WILL FIND YOU!!!!! And my revenge will be as unpleasant as Peter Mandelson. |
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